How did I know this was God‘s will?
I stood a long time before the mailbox’s open maw, the manila envelope poised on the lip.
Were we doing the right thing by our sons?
I reviewed the endless discussions: finances, education, family, car-pooling, fears, Hawai’i, dreams, God, and still didn’t know.
How do you decide a question that could change your child’s life forever?
I went to my source of comfort and prayed something like this:
“Lord, I don’t know the plans you have for my children. I don’t know the future and what’s best for them, but I know you do. So, I pray you would put the boys in the school you’ve chosen for them, no matter what I think. Amen.”
A push, a rusty squeak and the envelope disappeared into God’s hands.
Twenty years later, my son confirmed that “decision” changed his life. “Everything about me, where I am, where I went to college, what I do, who I married, would have been different if I hadn’t gone to Punahou School.”
Which wasn’t my first choice.
I’ve been reflecting on that decision-making process this week as my husband and I juggle and confront yet another big decision. On one hand, it looks obvious. On the other, my heart lurches and yearns for comfort. A tiny feather of fear whispers.
Ultimately it comes down to this: How do you decide the will of God? Click to Tweet
Here are four steps I use to weigh my choices after I’ve prayed for God’s direction.
1. Does this violate Scripture?
The first step, obviously, is to make sure what I’m considering is not contrary to God’s law as spelled out in the Bible. We’re buying a house– is our heart in the right spot? Do we have sufficient resources? Are we choosing this house out of greed, pride, or any other non-fruit of the spirit?
2. What do the circumstances look like? Does it make sense?
God doesn’t always operate in the rational, but there should be some sense of “rightness” about this decision. In our case, the timing, the stewardship issue, the reasons this house works for our ministries play a big factor.
Even if I don’t care for this decision, I need to weigh these factors. I may not be happy about this particular house, but I need to see where it makes some sort of sense.
3. What do those in spiritual authority/ those who know you/those who love you/ those who will be effected by this choice . . . think?
I have sought counsel and God has provided me with several wise people to listen and affirm what we’re doing. My husband and I have spent endless hours considering, crying (me), talking, debating, comparing, and wrestling with information. Our family has been listening to this with mixed emotions, but they’re excited about our options–all of them.
My prayer has been that whatever the decision, my husband and I will be in unity.
4. Where does you heart tug?
Emotions should never be the defining “deal breaker,” but they should be examined. My husband and I tend to make decisions like Mr. Spock–totally rational and dismissive of emotions. But we’ve learned over the years that we need to look at the emotions and talk them through. Sometimes fears just need to be aired and once out in the open, they dissipate like a wisp of fog under the sun.
In the case of my children’s Hawai’ian schooling, my emotions took me away from Punahou. In the current housing case, my emotions tug me to a different spot.
While my emotions have been validated–heard–they’ve also been soothed by the discussion and through the prayers from close friends.
It certainly makes me feel better . . .
Bonus: How has God worked in your life in the past?
Remembering the Hawai’ian schooling situation has helped me work through the current housing situation. God worked to the good in ways I could not have guessed before we stepped out in faith. In hindsight, I can see the wisdom in that decision. Remembering the positive outcomes of our time at Punahou strengthens my trust in God’s leading this time.
I remember another momentous situation in my past where I considered passing on a tremendous gift because of emotional uncertainty. I took a step of faith in trusting God, and the blessings that have flowed to me and so many others, are overwhelming.
And another time.
It forces me to ask the question “Why not take this proffered blessing, even if I don’t feel worthy?”
This is where reading biographies and testimonies of others who have trusted God in extraordinary, and ordinary, circumstances can help. I’ve received plenty of blessings from the following:
Edith Schaeffer‘s The Tapestry
Elisabeth Elliot‘s Through Gates of Splendor
Corrie Ten Boom’s The Hiding Place
Dabney Hedgard’s When God Intervenes
Robin Jones Gunn‘s Victim of Grace
Tweetables:
Four Steps to Determine God’s Will Click to Tweet
Five Books to Remember God’s Faithfulness Click to Tweet
Learning to Trust God Through the Past Click to Tweet
It’s easy to think we know God’s will, and powerful hard to actually know it.
Or, the opposite – it’s easy to think we can’t see God’s will when He’s all but handed us a stone tablet.
Or when He HAS handed us a stone tablet!
As a general rule, it would seem that as long as one maintains a healthy connection with the Transcendent, the decisions that one reaches through ‘normal’ reasoning are going to be in line with God’s will. They take the full spectrum of prayer, emotion, and analysis into account.
I’m very suspicious of epiphanies that go completely against everything we’ve thought or felt – it’s not that they can’t happen, but I do think there’s another power that can take advantage of a spiritual weakness and disguise it as God’s will. Thus have many followed a flare of swamp-gas into oblivion, thinking they were on a Divinely-ordained path.
I don’t think God plays games with us. I believe that He knows we’ve got enough on our plates already, without having to figure out puzzles. To quote Einstein (who was certainly no atheist), “God is subtle; but He is never malicious.”
Have I ever followed what I thought was God’s will? Honestly, I don’t know whether it was Him, or my reading of the auguries of the moment. But I do believe that as I remained faithful to Him, He remained faithful to me – and so His will was accomplished.
Perhaps that’s enough.
Wise words as always, Andrew.
I love the advice from Gary Friesen’s Decision Making and the Will of God. We don’t have to appeal to God for every decision–he gave us a mind to know scrambled eggs for breakfast are a better choice than pop tarts–and he doesn’t put desires in our hearts for no reason (which is why, thankfully, I’m not in Africa).
Scripture tells us to reason with him, to bring our petitions to him, and to trust him. That’s the best place to start and end.
I AM NOT A CALVINIST!
I BELIEVE IN PERSEVERANCE OF THE SAINTS, BUT I AM NOT A CALVINIST!
It is impossible to proclaim a belief in perseverance of the saints, also know as once saved always saved and eternal security, and at the same time declare you are not a Calvinist.
The Calvinistic T.U.L.I.P explained.
T-Total Depravity. Means that sin is in every part of one’s being, including the mind and will of man. Therefore men are without free- will. Men are saved by grace alone.
U- Unconditional Election. God predetermines who will be saved and who will spend eternity in hell.
L-Limited Atonement. The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross was only for the predetermined elect.
I-Irresistible Grace. God selects men to be saved and then forces then to believe in Jesus.
P-Perseverance of the Saints. The people God has chosen for salvation cannot lose their salvation.
Perseverance of the saints is the culmination of the T.U.L.I.P.
Without the first four points of the Calvinistic T.U.L.I.P there cannot be a fifth point.
You either embrace all 5 points of the T.U.L.I.P or none of the points.
Yes, all five T.U.L.I.P points are contrary to Scripture.
T-Total Depravity.
Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.(NKJV)
All men who hear the gospel can choose to accept God’s grace or reject it.
U-Unconditional Election.
Faith: John 3:16
Repentance: Acts 2:38, Acts 3:19
Confession: Romans 10:9
Water Baptism: Acts 2:38. Mark 16:16
There are conditions that need to be met in order to receive salvation.
L-Limited Atonement.
John 1:29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold ! The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.(NKJV)
Jesus died for the sins of all men.
I-Irresistible Grace.
Acts 7:51 “You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you.(NKJV)
Men did and still do resist the Holy Spirit. Grace is not irresistible.
P-Perseverance of the Saints.
Luke 8:13…who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away.(NKJV)
1 Timothy 4:1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrine of demons.(NKJV)
The Holy Spirit says men will fall away from the faith. Who do you believe the Holy Spirit or John Calvin?
It you believe in perseverance of the saints, once in grace always in grace, eternal security, then you are a Calvinist.
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Thank you for sharing, Steve, though I’m a bit perplexed why you chose to write on this blog post.
Tonight I happened to search for When God Intervenes to see what might pop up. To my surprise, this post surfaced. To be considered in the same list of inspirational books as The Hiding Place and The Tapestry left me speechless.
To God be all glory for His nudges and guidance.
In His hands,
Dabney