A kindergarten visitor
I visited a friend in a nursing home today and came away remembering other visits to other friends and relatives.
It’s a good work, but often takes a mental “gearing up,” to go to a nursing home. So, I’m remember five things that can help make a nursing home visit better for both the patient and the visitors.
Five Tips to Improve Your Visit to a Nursing Home.
1. Remember why you’re going in the first place.
You’re going to visit someone you care about who needs the help of a nursing home.
You love them and want to see them, want to touch base and to hopefully brighten their day.
You may be visiting to check up on their care, but the main focus of the visit is your loved one.
They haven’t changed just because their location is different.
2. Take a well manner small child with you.
I used to pick up my daughter every Wednesday from kindergarten and make the hour-long trek to see my father-in-law.
Because she was an adorable girl (trust me), I dressed her in a cute outfit, often a frilly dress, and encouraged her to think of something to tell her grandfather.
On Halloween, she went in costume.
I saw this as a win-win situation on several fronts.
My father-in-law got a visit from a sweet girl who loved him, was happy to bestow kisses and even sit on his lap.
The other residents of the home got to see a pleasant child who always brought something clever with her (see next point).
My daughter learned that people are worth visiting and not to be afraid of the elderly or those in wheel chairs.
(She grew up to work in a nursing home in college and took her sweet nature for the patients with her. She even influenced a woman for eternity as a result of not being afraid).
3. Take something disposable as a gift.
You have to check out food items with the staff, but I figured my father-in-law got plenty to eat. We took other items.
*Magazines on subjects he was interested in.
*The latest kindergarten project that I didn’t want. (I took pictures of great projects and kept those. My daughter freely gave them away. Who can forget the time she showed up on Lincoln’s birthday wearing a top hat made out of construction paper? All her “fans” in the home told her how adorable she was.)
* Flowers or a piece of nature. My daughter was great with dandelions.
* A balloon. (Who would have thought of that? The last belly laugh I got out of my father-in-law came from batting the balloon with my daughter).
* Memories or letters you read aloud.
* That day’s newspaper
* Singing children. He loved it. She loved it. The wait staff loved it. It was free.
4. Talk about their interests in the past, or anything that elicits an emotion.
My father-in-law was an author.
The woman I visited today in the nursing home was an artist. I asked her questions about how to paint, what types of paints she used and what she studied to become a painter.
I pulled up photos of my feeble attempts, and she commented.
Her face came alive and before I knew it, we were discussing Picasso’s blue period and cubism. I learned a few things. She challenged me to paint.
For a little while, she was in a different place and her energies were reminded of a past time she loved.
5. Don’t make promises you cannot keep.
There’s a lot of down time at a nursing home, lots of activities, lots of television, lots of noise. It can be a disorienting place.
Hope can be in short supply, and that’s why it’s important not to give your loved one false hope.
With my father-in-law, I could promise I’d come back–because I always did. Visiting him on Wednesdays was a priority. (I also went to the library in the larger town, shopped at Costco, and ran other errands during those Wednesdays. Sometimes I even brought other children with me).
My friend today, however, is an acquaintance and while I’d love to say I’d visit every week after Bible study, I did not. I couldn’t guarantee that, so I didn’t.
I can’t think of anything worse than leaving a false hope.
Be careful what you say.
Tweetables
Five tips for visiting a nursing home. Click to Tweet
Bring well-manner children to nursing homes for a win-win. Click to Tweet
Visiting a nursing home is for the patient; don’t make promises you won’t keep. Click to Tweet.
What to do with those school projects? Why not visit a nursing home? Click to Tweet
We just visited my grandmother, and you are right about bringing a small child with you. Two small children are an even bigger hit! It definitely cheered her up. 🙂
🙂 Well, and those two would cheer up anyone!
Very thoughtful post.
I have been around rehab centers and assisted living/nursing homes a good bit in the past. It was a routine for awhile when my son homeschooled. It was a good experience for him.
At one point he put together a book of his colorful bird drawings for my mom. And he learned to push her wheel chair.
He also got to be around several unique personalities when my mother had roommates. One nice lady was over 100 years old. Another was delusional and thought she was a princess. Another was hard of hearing and always had the noisy tv on or else she was telling colorful stories about being on cruise ships with the language you might expect from a sailor. Still another time in rehab, we watched an extremely large person being moved by a crew of people using a sheet. Not the typical things for a school child to witness in their school day, but a part of son’s unique education. 🙂
Absolutely, Janice, and children visiting nursing homes cheers the denizens up so much. What a wise teacher you were!
The way you brought your daughter into the regular visits inspires me to share this with others who are seeking to foster compassion in their children. A great post!